Hi 3 Humility,
Do you remember the composition we did on water safety? I have picked out a good story. It was written by one of your classmates. What do you think?
Tim said, "Hooray! Class is over." He walked out of school. When he reached home, Tim took out his new ball. The ball was bright red with black spots. He ran out to play. As he was dribbling his ball along a path, his ball bounced on a rock and fell into a canal.
Tim became desperate. He thought for awhile and said," I will jump into the canal!" He jumped into the canal. Tim felt frightened and nervous as he splashed in the deep green water.
Tim desperately tried to swim towards his ball. The current was strong and Tim was a poor swimmer. He wished someone would jump into the water and save him. Fortunately, a man was walking along the canal and heard Tim's cries for help. The man wore a red shirt, a pair of yellow pants and a blue hat. The man hurriedly dived into the canal to save Tim. He swiftly swam to Tim and lifted him out of the water.
Tim thanked the man a hundred times. The man said, "Never jump into deep water if you are a poor swimmer." Tim nodded his head and left.
I have 3 questions for you to think about.
(1) pick out 2 good words / phrases
(2) pick out a good idea / portion from the above composition that you think can improve the composition you wrote
(3) change the ending of this composition (last paragraph)
